Did you know that the orgasm most women find easiest to achieve is the clitoral orgasm? It is a so-called peak orgasm, which comes from tensing up the body, and which afterwards leaves us completely relaxed.
A clitoral orgasm is for many women characterised by being a sharp and intense orgasm and is often referred to as "the quick one". However, you can also build it up over a longer period of controlled stimulation and achieve a more explosive orgasm.
During the orgasm itself, the clitoris contracts in pumping movements. A clitoral orgasm typically lasts between 10 and 30 seconds with 3 to 16 contractions.
The orgasm can be achieved in several different ways. First and foremost, as a woman you can give yourself one either by using your fingers or by using sex toys. Or you can let yourself be stimulated by your partner.
But first, let us look at what the clitoris actually is and where it is located.
What is the clitoris and where is it located?
The clitoris is a small but highly sensitive sexual organ in women, located at the top where the inner labia meet, and its sole purpose is sexual pleasure.
The visible part of the clitoris is, however, only the tip of the iceberg - the largest part is hidden inside the body. In fact, it continues to grow, just like the ears and nose, and becomes nearly 8 cm long. By the time a woman reaches menopause, it will therefore be approximately five times larger than it was during her teenage years.
The clitoris can look very different from person to person - just like a penis. And when a woman becomes aroused, it fills with blood and expands - also like a penis does. But unlike the penis, it has only one single purpose, namely sexual satisfaction - perhaps that is also why it has as many as 8,000 nerve endings (a penile glans, by comparison, has only around 4,000). This means that no other human organ is equally sensitive.
Fun fact! We all begin life as females in the early foetal stage, and it is not until the foetus is nearly 12 weeks old that it has developed a penis - if it is male. Therefore, regardless of your gender, you have had a clitoris. If you are male, yours simply developed into a penile glans instead. The two organs even behave in much the same way. When they become aroused, they both become firm and swell as they fill with blood.
The path to a clitoral orgasm
For many people unfamiliar with this little gem, it is something of a mystery, and it does indeed require a certain finesse to satisfy it. But we promise it is well worth the effort. When it is fully aroused, the entire area's desire for touch is almost inexhaustible, and its lucky owner can experience multiple orgasms in succession.
Below are our tips on how you or your partner can find the way to the promised land.
Psst! If you are curious about which part of the brain is connected to the clitoris and why that knowledge is part of the solution to the orgasm gap, you will find all the answers in this blog post: Clitoris on the mind.
Clitoral orgasm: what you can do yourself
The key to achieving a clitoral orgasm lies in using sound, movement, and breathing together. Sounds such as mmmmmh and ahhhhhhhh help to open up the body and make it receptive to the orgasm.
The same goes for breathing, which also helps to build up orgasmic energy. So do not hold back with moaning and heavy breathing!
Movement in the body is also important when you want to achieve a clitoral orgasm. This could be, for example, small tilts of the hips or touching the breasts - if your partner is not touching them, do it yourself!
See also our tips for clitoral orgasm with sex toys further down in the article.
For those who want to give their partner a clitoris massage
If you would like to give your partner a clitoris massage, remember that it is simply one organ belonging to a whole human body. Start by talking with your partner about what feels good, and ask for feedback when you touch her.
Ask, for example, "Is it like this?", "How does that feel?", "Harder or softer?". This is not only a great way to find out what works for your partner, it can also develop into a super sexy addition to the play, which may even result in a clitoral orgasm.
Some have a clitoris so sensitive that they would rather not have it touched at all. Others prefer a more vigorous circular movement and relatively firm pressure against the pubic bone. Others again do not want it touched directly, but prefer gliding movements to the left and right of it.
Get to know your partner, start gently, pay attention to her response - and use what you learn to give her a clitoris massage that hits all the right notes.
You of course also have the option of incorporating a finger vibrator to assist you along the way.
We recommend: Sinful Touch Me Finger Vibrator (best value for money) / Svakom Echo 2 Flexible Finger Vibrator (most luxurious)
Work your way slowly towards the goal
As mentioned, it is always a good idea to start gently. Begin by touching other erogenous zones, as far away from the gem as possible, and work your way towards it as your partner becomes more and more aroused. Start with kisses and tongue, move down her body, and use your hands to touch and caress along the way.
Take it slowly, and as you get closer, slow down even further. Linger around her stomach, hips, and inner thighs. Touch and lick her pubic mound as you slowly draw nearer. But try to steer clear of the clitoris for as long as she can stand it. The aim is to direct blood flow to the area, which will awaken arousal, making her ultra-sensitive bud more receptive to touch, and open to a clitoral orgasm.
As your partner becomes aroused, the clitoris will swell and may even become more prominent. If your partner is ready for it, you can now try gentle, direct touching. But remember that some people still prefer to be touched slightly to the side of it, with circular movements around it or rubbing movements on one side or the other. Ask your partner what feels best.
Begin with light, gentle touches. You can always increase the pressure, speed, and intensity depending on how your partner responds. Remember, it is always better to wait for your partner to ask for more - too much stimulation can cause her to tense up, and it can also make her numb down there. It takes time to give a good clitoris massage, so take the time it requires - it will only get better from it.
Use lube!
When pursuing a clitoral orgasm, lube is your most important ally. A good, smooth lubricant helps to reduce friction and also provides a little cushioning between your own skin and your partner's.
You can of course also use your partner's own natural lubrication, but we recommend always having a good lubricant on hand. Try, for example, our best-selling lubricant Sinful Aqua Water-based Lube 200 ml or the Kaerlig Organic Water-based Lube 200 ml, which is made from organic ingredients.
Pay attention to body language
Your partner's body language is one of the best tools you can use to assess whether your efforts are working or not. Listen to your partner's breathing. Is it quickening? Is she moaning with pleasure, or has she suddenly gone quiet? This will help you decide whether to continue what you are doing, or whether to speed up, slow down, or ask for more feedback.
You can also look for other physical signals. Is your partner pressing her body into yours? Is she spreading her legs for more? Or is she tensing up and pulling away?
Your partner's body speaks volumes if you pay close attention, so be mindful of what it is telling you, and learn to adapt or ask questions when you are unsure.
Turn up the intensity
When the clitoris is well and truly aroused, many women can handle considerably more pressure, friction, and speed. If your partner is close to reaching this point, it may be a good time to really turn up the intensity.
What this means will, of course, depend on your partner. If she prefers external stimulation, you can increase that and try more friction, vibration, and pressure, or a combination of all of the above.
You can also add internal stimulation, with, for example, a penis or a dildo. Some women will enjoy G-spot stimulation at this point, and in fact the G-spot will be much more receptive to pressure and touch once the clitoris is thoroughly aroused.
You can read more about how to find the G-spot in our ultimate guide.
The rest of your partner's body will also be less sensitive when she is fully aroused, so it can be a good idea to experiment with slightly more vigorous play around other erogenous zones such as the stomach, breasts, and buttocks.
Stress is not the way to a clitoral orgasm
If you have managed to charm your way all the way to the explosive clitoral orgasm, then you are probably in no doubt. But if there is anything that is not charming, it is pushing too hard to get there. To truly stimulate a clitoral orgasm, you need to make your partner feel completely and utterly fantastic - with no other goal than exactly that.
Moreover, there can be many reasons why a clitoral orgasm simply is not going to happen on a particular day - factors such as stress, illness, mood, medication, and much else can all play a role. So take it easy; your partner's orgasm is not about you.
Your job is to create the opportunity for her clitoral orgasm, but leave room for the possibility that it may elude you this time. Perhaps the anticipation of your kisses and touches will be enough for you to charm your way all the way there next time.
After the clitoral orgasm
A clitoral orgasm can be an intense - and even deeply emotional - experience. When it is over, it can help to give your partner a little extra care and attention. In other words, it is time for cuddles and affection.
Make sure your partner feels comfortable, safe, and well looked after. This cements your role as a caring lover and helps your partner float gently down from her orgasmic cloud in the most pleasant way possible.
Clitoral orgasm with sex toys
Learning to give a good clitoris massage with your hands (and mouth, for partners) is an important sexual skill that you absolutely should develop. That said, there is nothing wrong with getting a little help from modern technology.
Clitoral vibrators are specially developed to give you a clitoral orgasm, and they do that job excellently, and very effectively - for most people. They can be particularly useful if you find it difficult to reach climax. With a vibrator, you can add extra spice to the play, whilst the hands and tongue get the chance to take a break.
We recommend: Baseks Rose Tapping Clitoral Vibrator (for beginners) / Sinful Rechargeable Mini Magic Wand 7.9 Inch (for experienced users)
A vibrator can therefore be a really great help in achieving a clitoral orgasm. However, it is also important to note that it is possible to overstimulate the clitoris if you use the vibrator too much. It can, therefore, be a good idea to take a break from sex toys for a few weeks to preserve sensitivity, so that you can still orgasm from gentle touch, such as fingers and tongue.
If you are very sensitive, a clitoral suction vibrator can also be a good solution, as these do not touch the area directly but instead use pressure or air waves to produce a clitoral orgasm. It feels absolutely fantastic and much deeper than traditional vibrators. Try, for example, the exclusive Womanizer Premium, which is considered the Rolls-Royce of sex toys.
If something more is needed to satisfy, you may need to acquire a more powerful vibrator in the Magic Wand vibrator category. These powerful vibrators are designed to stimulate deeply. If you can tolerate a very high intensity level, this type of toy can deliver a truly mindblowing orgasm.
If you are looking for something in between, you may want to look at a mini vibrator or a finger vibrator, which have various intensities but can both deliver intense and powerful orgasms.
We recommend: Baseks Love Bullet Vibrator 9.3 cm (best value for money) / Rocks Off RO-120 mm Red Alert Bullet Vibrator 4.7 Inch (most luxurious)
The difference between a clitoral orgasm and a vaginal orgasm
Women are capable of achieving orgasm through stimulation of many different parts of the body, including the clitoris, vagina, G-spot, anus, and even nipples, and none of them feels the same. Some women can experience all types of orgasms, others only some, and others again find it difficult to orgasm at all.
Remember that everyone is different, and there is no single definitive path to orgasm for everyone. That said, the vast majority can (fortunately) reach their climactic goal through practice and patience.
The question most people ask, however, is what the difference is between a clitoral orgasm and a vaginal orgasm. Generally speaking, the vaginal orgasm requires more practice and experience than a clitoral orgasm.
The reason for this is that a clitoral orgasm is primarily achieved through external stimulation, whereas the vaginal orgasm is primarily achieved through internal stimulation, either with the help of a penis, dildo, or fingers, and is connected to G-spot stimulation as well as the activation of the pelvic floor muscles.
How to increase clitoral sensitivity
If you are one of those who do not feel that their clitoris is particularly sensitive, there are, in fact, a couple of things you can do to increase sensitivity.
There can be several reasons why it may be less sensitive, but one of the most common is having had a pelvic injury. This frequently happens to girls of school age who, whilst playing, fall onto the bar of a climbing frame, a bicycle, or a balance beam in gymnastics. That type of injury can be a significant obstacle to sensitivity later in life.
If something similar has happened to you, we would recommend acquiring a more powerful vibrator. Use it 2–3 times a week for approximately 6 minutes at a time. It can be a good idea to use it over your underwear or to use a good lubricant in order to protect the skin.
When you first begin using it, you may not feel very much, but over time it will break down the scar tissue that the body has formed to protect the nerve endings in your clitoris, and they will begin to wake up again.
Use the vibrator for shorter or longer periods, depending on what feels right for you. Continue the treatment for 6–8 weeks, after which you should begin to notice a response. What you're actually doing here is physical therapy for the lower abdomen.
We recommend: Sinful Luxy Extra Powerful Magic Wand (best value for money) / PalmPower Extreme Magic Wand Vibrator (most luxurious)
Another thing you can try is to stimulate your clitoris more during foreplay. Try opening yourself up more by pulling your labia apart or by pulling the clitoral hood (the fold of skin around the clitoris) back toward your navel. You can also try a peppermint-based oil or an orgasm gel. Put a small dab on your finger and rub it into the area around the clitoris.
We recommend: Kaerlig Organic Powerful Orgasm Gel 15 ml (the natural choice) / Zestra Clitoral Stimulation Oil 12 ml (customers' favourite)
A clitoral pump can also help increase sensitivity by creating a vacuum in the area, causing it to swell and increasing blood flow.
We recommend: Obaie Vagina Pump (best value for money) / Shots Pumped Vagina Pump (most luxurious)
Don’t Chase the Clitoral Orgasm
However, it’s important not to chase the clitoral orgasm. Many women have an idea of what the perfect clitoral orgasm should be like and how it should feel to be “real.” But it’s important to realize that there are no “right” or “wrong” orgasms -they will always be different. It can range from a slight contraction to a stronger sensation that spreads throughout the entire body.
If you go around with a very specific idea of how a clitoral orgasm should feel, you’re almost guaranteed to end up disappointed. That’s why it’s absolutely essential that you’re content with where you are. That you love yourself and let that be your starting point.
If your starting point is linked to frustration and dissatisfaction over not being able to have a clitoral orgasm, a blockage will automatically arise - and then you’ll definitely never have a clitoral orgasm.
So don’t chase the clitoral orgasm, but instead let your curiosity about it be your starting point. And remember to love all your orgasms - the small ones, the intense ones, and even the ones you don’t have. It’s about being present in your body, being present in the moment - otherwise, you won’t notice what’s actually happening in your body along the way.
And most importantly, don’t lose faith. Play, explore, and discover your body, and you’ll surely find your way to YOUR pleasure.
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