How to Give a Great Handjob: 6 Tips to Improve Your Handplay
Let’s face it – handjobs get a bit of a bad rep. They’re often seen as something you grow out of or settle for. But when done right, a handjob can be incredibly intimate, playful and downright explosive. It’s all in the hands – and the know-how.
In this guide, you’ll find everything from the basics to different techniques, sexy positions, and expert tips that will undoubtedly improve your handjob game. We’ll answer the most common questions too – like whether it counts as sex, and if there’s any risk of STDs (spoiler: rare, but not impossible).
And of course, you’ll find some irresistible recommendations to level up your stroking skills.
What Is a Handjob?
Before we get into the various techniques, positions and do’s and don’t, it’s important to clarify the meaning of the term itself. A handjob is when you use your hand to stimulate your own or someone else’s penis to provide pleasure - and often, orgasm. It’s simple in theory, but there’s an art to doing it well.
You might have also heard of different types of handjobs, such as nursing handjobs. It’s a term borrowed from the kink community, describing a slow, nurturing handjob often done while cradling the receiver. If that’s your vibe, it's worth exploring.
Now, is a handjob sex? Technically, yes – it’s a form of non-penetrative sexual activity. Just because there’s no penetration doesn’t mean it’s not sexual. It's as intimate and erotic as you make it.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Handjobs
Why They’re Brilliant
Handjobs are perfect for when you want to:
- Explore each other’s bodies without full nudity.
- Warm up before penetrative sex or oral.
- Keep your clothes (or lingerie) on for a teasing session.
- Take control in a playful or dominant way.
They also allow you to maintain eye contact, whisper naughty things, or experiment with toys and lube in a completely accessible way.
What You Should Watch Out For
The biggest mistake? Going in dry. No one enjoys a dry tug. Lube is your best friend – it reduces friction, feels amazing, and shows you’ve thought it through.
Also, be aware of pressure and rhythm. Everyone’s preferences are different, so don’t expect one size to fit all. Be curious, not cocky.
And on the safety front: can you get an STD from a handjob? It’s very unlikely, but technically possible, especially if there are cuts or sores involved. If you’re concerned, pop on a glove – or just have a quick chat with your partner.
How to Give a Handjob for the First Time
Nervous? Don’t worry – it’s one of the most forgiving sexual acts to try. And the more you do it, the better you’ll get.
Start by setting the mood. You don’t need candles and rose petals (though if that’s your thing, go for it), but you do want a bit of comfort and privacy.
Make sure your hands are clean, your nails are trimmed, and you’ve got lube within reach. Warming it in your hand before applying adds a lovely, personal touch.
When you’re ready to start, rest your hand gently on the base of the penis. You’re not yanking it - you’re saying hello. Let your hand glide slowly upwards, feeling the skin, the veins, the heat.
Use your other hand to stroke the shaft, cradle the balls, or tease the inner thighs.
The Best Handjob Techniques to Try
Here are some crowd-pleasers to get you started:
The Basic Grip and Slide
Start with a moderate grip (not too loose, not too tight) and stroke from base to tip. Add a twist at the top for bonus points.
The Twister
With lube, use both hands twisting in opposite directions. It feels fantastic and looks sexy as hell.
The Tease
Lightly stroke only the head with your fingertips. Draw circles, flick, or squeeze gently.
The Perineum Press
Slip a finger between the balls and anus. Apply gentle pressure - this spot’s packed with nerve endings.
The Stop-and-Go
Just when they’re close, slow down or stop. This edging technique builds tension and makes the orgasm even more intense.
Handjob Positions You Should Try
You don’t need to reinvent the Kama Sutra, but position does matter. Here are a few easy favourites:
Lying Side-by-Side
Cosy and relaxed, this allows for mutual touching and kissing.
Standing with You Kneeling
A more dominant position, great for eye contact and control.
Over the Clothes
Perfect for public play or teasing at the cinema. Just a little rub through the fabric can be incredibly erotic.
Cradling on the Sofa
Combine this with the “nursing handjob” approach – soft strokes, slow rhythm, tender eye contact.
6 Essential Handjob Tips and Tricks
- Lube is everything: Use more than you think. Try warming or cooling lubes to keep things interesting.
- Keep eye contact: It turns a simple stroke into something far more intimate.
- Talk dirty: Even a “Do you like that?” can increase excitement.
- Use both hands: One on the shaft, the other on the balls or perineum, and keep the sensation dynamic.
- Change the tempo: Tease, build, pause, repeat - the rhythm can build delicious suspense.
- Let them join in: Guide their hand onto yours and make it a shared experience.
Products That Will Take Your Handjob Skills Up a Notch
1. Lubricants – Your Must-Have MVP
Without lube, you’re missing half the fun. A good lubricant keeps things smooth, sensual, and friction-free.
For beginners: Pjur Aqua Water-Based Lube – Gentle, safe with toys, and super silky. Ideal for a first-time experience.
For experienced users: baseks Warming Gel – Adds a delicious heat that heightens every stroke and tease.
2. Textured Sleeves – Handjob with a Twist
Masturbation eggs or sleeves give your hands a break while still delivering mind-blowing pleasure.
For beginners: Tenga Egg Wavy II – Super soft, easy to use, and disposable. A fuss-free introduction to textured play.
For experienced users: Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage – Reusable, compact, and open-ended for mutual fun and deeper sensations.
3. Toys That Pair with Hands – Boost Your Repertoire
Use a stroker on the shaft while stimulating the head with your hand – or vice versa. You don’t need to go full-tech to get serious pleasure.
For beginners: Sinful Quick Launch Stroker – A simple, soft sleeve that’s easy to use and clean.
For experienced users: Satisfyer Men Wand Vibrating Stroker – Deep vibrations and ergonomic design take your stroking to the next level.
4. Aftercare Essentials – Keep It Clean and Ready for Round Two
After all the fun, a quick cleanup keeps things fresh and sexy. Plus, your toys will last longer if you show them a little love.
Sinful Clean Toy Cleaner Spray – A quick spray and wipe keeps things hygienic and toy-safe.
Sinful Storage Bag with Lock – A discreet and practical bag with code lock to protect your favourite handjob enhancers.
Handjob FAQ
What does a handjob feel like?
For most, it’s a mix of warmth, pressure, rhythm, and skin-on-skin contact. With lube and technique, it can feel just as intense as oral.
How long should it last?
There’s no rule! It can be a quick tease or a drawn-out build. Some reach orgasm in minutes, others enjoy a longer ride.
Are there any STD risks?
The risk is low, but not zero, particularly if there are open wounds or sores. Use gloves if you’re concerned.
How do I ask for one?
Honesty is sexy. Try, “I love the way you touch me – would you want to try using your hand like this?” It’s a request, not a demand.
Is it sex?
Yes, it’s a form of non-penetrative sex. And it can be just as satisfying, if not more so.
What is a nursing handjob?
A slow, nurturing technique often done while cradling or holding your partner. Think of it as the sensual opposite of a quick tug.
What’s the best handjob technique?
That depends on the person. But generally, lube, a varied rhythm, and a focus on pleasure (not performance) will get you far.
Sources
- “Can You Get STIs from Foreplay?”, NHS, May 23, 2025
- “What Is Outercourse?”, Planned Parenthood, May 23, 2025
- “STI Risk from Manual Sex”, Go Ask Alice (Columbia University), May 23, 2025
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