Anal sex is very popular and it is something we often get questions about. Anal sex can be a stimulating, pleasurable and intense experience for people of all ages, genders and sexual orientations.
For people with vaginas, anal penetration stimulates the many sensitive nerve endings in the anus and the G-spot. And if you have a penis, it stimulates the anus and the prostate (also known as the P-spot).
Both G-spot and prostate stimulation can provoke exceptional and very deep orgasms and if you are lucky enough, you may even experience several in a row.
In other words, anal sex can be a fantastic experience and a way to both add a new dimension to your sex life and to help strengthen that bond of intimacy between you and your partner.
But anal sex it not only about penetration. Stimulating the nerve ends externally can be very pleasurable as well, especially when stimulating the penis or vagina at the same time.
Anal sex dos and don'ts
Before you get started, it helps to know what you should remember to do, and what to avoid - so here’s a quick overview that can make the experience feel more comfortable, safe, and enjoyable.
Do:
- Use plenty of lube - more than you think you need
- Take it slow, especially in the beginning
- Start with fingers or small anal toys before penetration
- Communicate openly with your partner about what feels good
- Relax your body and focus on breathing
- Go to the toilet beforehand for extra comfort
- Use anal toys with a flared base for safe anal play
Don’t:
- Rush into penetration without preparation
- Skip lube - this can lead to discomfort or injury
- Ignore pain - discomfort is a sign to slow down or stop
- Switch from anal to vaginal penetration without cleaning or changing condoms
- Use numbing products that mask your body’s signals
- Feel pressured to continue if it doesn’t feel right for you
Six tips for amazing anal sex
Below we have put together our six top tips for first time anal sex.
1. Good hygiene
Good hygiene is important when experimenting with anal stimulation and it can also help you to relax. By using an anal douche to rinse yourself clean round there, you can help to prevent any unpleasant surprises from occurring when you have anal sex.
Fill the douche with water which is at body temperature, and lubricate the spout so that you can easily insert the douche into your body with a gentle, sliding motion. Squeeze the douche in order to gently squirt the water up and then sit on the toilet so that the water can come out again.
Repeat this process until the water that comes out is clear.
2. Relax your whole body
Relaxation is essential for enjoyable anal sex. Talk about things before you get started and agree on how you want the experience to go.
For a bit of extra help in this, it might be worth considering the use of an anal relaxing gel which you can apply to the anal opening a few minutes before having sex. This helps the muscles around the anus to become more relaxed.
3. Proceed slowly
It is important to proceed at your own pace when getting started with anal stimulation so that your anal muscles have time to relax and you can avoid discomfort. Only you will know when you are really ready and relaxed enough to enjoy the experience.
The best approach is to take things very slow and spend extra time on foreplay to work up your desire.
4. Use lube
Lube is an absolute must when having anal sex as the body does not produce any kind of natural lubricant in the anus. Using an anal lube will ease things along and give you optimal conditions for enjoying each other.
Sinful’s Anal Lube is water-based and can be used for penetration and together with sex toys of all materials.
5. Use sex toys
If you’ve never experimented with anal sex before, it may be a good idea to start with an anal sex toy.
Anal sex toys such as our Sinful BumBum Butt Plug Set provide an opportunity to first get used to the sensation of anal stimulation before then moving on to anal intercourse. This can help make your first time more comfortable as your body will have a chance to gradually acclimatise.
Many people will need a period of acclimatisation and you may well need to experiment with anal stimulation several times before you feel ready to advance to anal intercourse. This is completely natural, so just enjoy the ride at your own pace and don’t stress if moving fast doesn’t feel right.
Anal sex toys such as butt plugs are also ideal if you already have some experience with anal sex and would now like to experience some variation in your simulation.
6. Clean your sex toy after use
It is important to always clean your anal sex toys after use in order to ensure good hygiene. Cleaning also ensures that your anal sex toys will be ready to go just as soon as the mood next takes you.
We recommend using an antibacterial sex toy cleaner such as Sinful Clean for your anal sex toys as this will guarantee them a safe and gentle clean. Sex toy cleaner is also available in an organic variant.
FAQ about first time anal sex
What is anal sex?
Anal sex involves stimulation or penetration of the anus, using a penis, fingers, or sex toys. It can be part of solo play or shared with a partner, and for many people, it’s a way to explore new sensations and intimacy.
What does anal sex feel like?
It can feel intense and different from other types of stimulation. The anus is rich in nerve endings, so when you’re relaxed and using enough lube, it can feel pleasurable, full, and deeply satisfying. It can also be very satisfying to stimulate the clitoris or penis at the same time to enhance your orgasm. Read more about anal orgasms here.
Does anal sex hurt the first time?
It shouldn’t hurt, but it may feel unfamiliar or slightly uncomfortable at first. The key is to go slowly, starting with a finger or small anal toy, and use plenty of lube. Only continue if your body feels relaxed. Pain is usually a sign to pause or adjust.
Can everyone enjoy anal sex?
Not necessarily - and that’s completely normal. Some people love it, while others don’t enjoy the sensation at all. It’s all about personal preference and listening to your body. Start slow and try different things to see what you like.
Do women enjoy anal sex?
Many women do, especially with the right preparation and pace. The stimulation can indirectly affect other sensitive areas, which can make the experience feel more intense or pleasurable. But it is not all about penetration, many women also enjoy external touch around the anus together with vaginal stimulation.
Why do men like anal sex?
For many men, anal stimulation can feel especially pleasurable because of the prostate - often called the male G-spot. When stimulated, it can create deeper, more intense sensations and even lead to stronger orgasms. Some also enjoy the feeling of fullness and the added intimacy with a partner.
Is anal sex safe?
Yes, as long as you take the right precautions. Using plenty of lube, going slowly, and communicating with your partner all help reduce the risk of discomfort or injury.
How can I make anal sex more comfortable?
Start slowly, use lots of anal-specific lube, and focus on relaxing your body. Foreplay, breathing, and gradual stimulation - for example with fingers or small toys - can make the experience much more comfortable.
How do I avoid mess during anal sex?
Going to the toilet beforehand is often enough for most people. If you want extra peace of mind, you can rinse with an anal douche, as explained in our guide to anal douching. Keep in mind that small accidents can still happen, and that’s completely normal.
Do I need to use protection during anal sex?
Yes, using a condom is strongly recommended. It helps protect against sexually transmitted infections and also makes clean-up easier and more hygienic.
Can you get pregnant from anal sex?
Pregnancy cannot occur from anal sex alone. However, if semen comes into contact with the vaginal opening, there is a small risk, so it’s still important to be mindful.
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